Turkey Trot

We’ll ya’ll. This weekend was the Turkey Trot on post, and even though I was NOT expecting to do well at all, I managed a 23:10 time for my 5k run, and first place for my age division!!

1425501_10151776355824013_1536896572_n  First place prize was this awesome scarf, which was a nice change of pace from all those medals that I have hanging up on my dresser.  I have this one tiny superstition where I usually won’t wear the shirt they give me when I check in, but it was a long sleeved shirt and I needed some sleeves. My regular T-shirt just wasn’t going to cut it 🙂

Fitness Tuesday

Thank God Bubba is only 3! We didn’t make it around the whole neighborhood on Halloween, so he only managed to bring home about a half a bucket of candy. Since he did so go for his first Halloween, I have managed to stay out of it, and let him snack on it a few pieces every day. It’ll probably last a few more weeks, and that’s just fine with me. Hubby actually ran out of candy, so we didn’t have any of our “hand out” candy left to munch on here either!

The eating is getting back what it should be, and the scale is still reading around 140. It’s funny, because I have no problem exercising. I’ve consistently exercised just about 6 days a week since February. What’s really funny is how strange my poor body feels when I don’t exercise. I’ve been fussed at for never taking a day off, and now I know that I have to take a day of to give my body a chance to rest. I don’t think I’ve gone two days in a row without exercise in what seems like forever.

This past weekend the skies opened up on Saturday and the wind blew about 45mph. Needless to say, I didn’t run. Sunday was a pretty good run, and I still have yet to track my time. I don’t care what my time is. I really don’t 🙂

I’ve had headaches about two to three days this past week, and it’s the strangest thing because I never get one. NEVER. And I don’t like to take medication for them, but they’ve been so aggravating I’ve actually had to take one to help with the pain. I’m wondering if it’s because I’m not getting enough water, so I have tried to manage to get back on my gallon of water a day. I saw on GMA the other morning where someone did “The Water Test” to see if drinking water would help with her headaches and after drinking so many ounces of water every day fro however long, her headaches had disappeared, she had lost weight, her wrinkles had diminished on her face, her hair looked better and this whole other long list of stuff. Well, duh. Sorry, but that’s how I feel about it. Well, duh. Half the problems people have can most likely linked to not having enough water intake!

Drink your water! Drink a gallon! Everyday!



Day late and a dollar short.

Not really. I am a day late though. It happens. Apparently there is some kind of freak weather pattern going on up here in Washington that has blessed us with ungodly amounts of SUNSHINE! Sunshine this time of year is nothing other than a gift from God because usually by now it’s been raining for two weeks straight and we can’t remember the last time we saw the sun. Because of such beautiful weather I have unplugged myself as much as possible to go out and enjoy the sunshine!

Anyway, the scale has gone down to about 140, which is progress, thank God! I used to log every thing I eat on Lose It! and I should probably start doing that again, but I’ve known all along if I don’t snack like a fat kid during the day the weight falls off for the most part. Instead of being an anal retentive whack a do about everything that goes in my mouth. I eat basically the same thing every day for breakfast and lunch and then dinner is usually the part of the day where I go overboard, along with whatever snacky snacks there may be. Especially during this time of year, because Bubba and I made sugar cookies the other day for Halloween.

On the exercise front, I haven’t seen Shaun T in over a week now. I’ve still been doing all of Coach’s workouts, and I feel so much better. I still love Shaun T, but I’ve missed Coach. I’m still running on the weekends, and only the weekends because with the pain in my hip and knee, the stroller and Bubba don’t mix. We have managed to walk the neighborhood every day this week because of the beautiful weather and I think that’s done more for my mood than anything. I’m really, really ready to go home to Virginia. I miss it so much, and I miss my family even more and with the holidays coming up it’s only going to get worse from here. Unfortunately we can’t leave yet, since someone’s contract with the Army isn’t up and I still have some unfinished business here.

Said unfinished business is the Turkey Trot coming up in 2 weeks, which is another reason I’ve really been trying to watch what I’ve been putting into my body. If I wouldn’t have been a lazy bum I would have trained for the 10k portion of the Turkey Trot, but I’m still sticking with the 5k. I guess this Saturday I’m going to have to take my iPhone and actually time myself to see what kind of numbers I’m working with. I have no clue what my race time will be, and I’m kind of to the point I don’t care. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love another medal for my collection, but I get more enjoyment out of the actual race part and being cheered on and cheering on the other runners!

So all in all, I think I’m getting back on track with not being a fat kid. We’ll see how well that sticks come tomorrow after I bring Bubba home with a bucket full of Halloween candy!

Happy Halloween!!

Fitness Tuesday

I know. I haven’t been posting regularly and I’m sorry. I’ve been very lazy about keeping up with this, and I don’t really know why. But anyway, things have been pretty good around here fitness wise. I’m still doing Insanity M-F and running Saturday and Sunday. Today I actually did a workout that Coach had sent me awhile back, and it was nice to do something different. I love Shaun T, I really do, but I’m about sick of Insanity. I still like it, I just have gotten bored with it. I’m so bored with it, instead of exercising at a decent time in the morning, I procrastinate something terrible. Some days it’s 2pm before I have even showered for the day. I’m going to keep running on the weekends, and I’m beginning to feel like if it’s not raining, then I need to be running in the morning with Bubba, at least for a little bit. It’s October, and the rain hasn’t started in on yet here, and I feel the need to take every advantage of that.

My knee pain comes and goes and I can without a doubt say that if I don’t stretch good once I’ve finished a workout, I tend to have really bad knee and hip pain the next day. My next race is November 16th, so long as the weather hold out. I’m all for running, but I’m a bit of a priss because I refuse to run in a downpour! I’ll run if it’s spitting rain, but I’m not dealing with torrential rains while I’m running. The last month when I’ve ran, I haven’t tracked my time, so for right now I really have no idea what I’m clocking in yet, and I sort of like it that way. I started running because I liked it, and then when it turned into a numbers thing, I didn’t love it so much. Now that I’m not a number Nazi, I enjoy it again.

Speaking of numbers, the scale has crept it’s way up to 141 as of this morning. It’s above 140 and 140 is my “this is as much as you can weigh” number. I’ll admit it, I’ve seriously slacked on my diet. Part of it is because Fall is here, and since it’s cooled off, all I want to do is eat and sleep. Maybe I should have been a bear. Some of it is that it’s Fall and now all I want is to bake and eat comfort food. I’m really, really starting to miss home. I haven’t felt this homesick since I first got married in 2008. The food tends to shut up the empty feeling in my heart for home for awhile. I don’t know. I know I have to start cracking down on what I’ve been eating again because if I’m not careful I’ll be up near 200 again. Well, I hope I wouldn’t let myself get that bad off again. Mostly I really need to get back under 140 because my New Year’s Resolution was 140lbs or less and I’m going to hate myself on Dec 31st if I weigh over 140!


Government Shutdown Day 11

Today’s day number 11 of the government shutdown, in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last two weeks. I’m not here to point fingers and place blame on who’s at fault for all this, because that’s just not what I’m here for. I don’t usually promote other things because I don’t want to be one of “those” people, but because of the situation, I figured I’d try and help. Let me explain:

When the government shut down, obviously certain people were not going to get paid. Active duty military were not included in that group because of the bill that Congress signed saying that we would get our mid-month pay. Thank God, because we need it! Unfortunately, the bill did not cover the immediate death gratuity that military families see when their loved ones have fallen. Usually when a soldier passes, the family receives a sum of money within 24 hours of their soldiers passing, in order to make funeral arrangements. This money also is used to fly a family member to Dover, Delaware to meet their soldier when they get off of the plane. Because of the shutdown, the government could not pay the immediate death gratuity to the families who have lost soldiers during this whole mess.

Luckily, the military takes care of itself. The Fisher House, which is basically the Ronald McDonald house for the military, has graciously stepped in and has paid these families the death gratuity. After the government figures out everything with the budget, the government will then reimburse the Fisher House for what they have donated. From what I understand, there has been a bill has passed in the House of Representatives that will now allow for payment of the death gratuity. I’m not sure whether or not it has made it through the Senate or the President yet, but I’m almost sure it will pass with no problem.

In the meantime, a few of the Facebook pages that I follow have joined forced and set up a fundraiser on gofundme.com. Their goal is to raise $10,000 to donate directly to the Fisher House. This is totally legitimate, and I wouldn’t be posting this if it wasn’t. A majority of the Facebook page admins that have started this fund raiser are or were military at some point, and do things like this all the time on a smaller scale.

So if you would like to donate to the Fisher House, here is the link to donate through the Facebook page: Fisher House Donation Link

Here is a link if you would like to learn more about what the Fisher House does:  Fisher House

If you don’t feel comfortable donating through GoFundMe, you can donate on the Fisher House web page.

Because this week, I’m just full of myself.

Tuesday I shared my revelation about the full length mirror I bought. For those that didn’t read on Tuesday, I bought a full length mirror at a yard sale and hung it up in my bedroom. I haven’t owned a full length mirror in years, and after spending probably too much time staring into my new purchase, I have come to realize that I am a thin and healthy girl. Well, woman, because I’m 24 and I’m pretty sure you can’t call a 24 year old a girl anymore. Anyway, this past week, I’ve done a little bit of self searching, a little more than usual.

Let me first start off by saying this: When I was in high school I had two boyfriends. Two. The first lasted probably all of 6 months. The second one is my husband today. In between boyfriend number one and my husband there were guys that I flirted with and hung out with and would have loved to have a relationship with, but it just never worked out that way. Mainly because for some reason I was never “the” girl, I was the “other” girl. I was always the other girl, the one who they came to when things were going wrong with their girlfriends, or have something to do with me when they wanted to. Some would even lie and tell me that they weren’t with their girlfriends at the time, but in all actuality, they were just wanting a little something on the side. Not that they ever got anything out of me, because I didn’t sleep around at all. But the point is, I was never good enough for anyone. Never. And you can only imagine what that does to a girls self esteem, to think that she’s only good enough to be the other woman. Not that I had any self esteem to begin with at that age. I was always comparing myself to the other girls who were skinnier or prettier.

So when my husband came along, that was it. We were together, and that’s how it’s been for the last 7 years. I’ve moved across the country twice, I’ve spent time away from my family in order to support him. I’m his. And he knows that. After spending the last 5 years moving all around the country and spending a lot of time on my own, I’ve realized a few things about myself, the main one being that all those guys that were in my life when I was younger and all those guys that I went to school with who didn’t even give me the time of day didn’t realize what they were missing out on. I’m not trying to be cocky, I’m really not, I’ve just finally come to realize that I am a good person, and any man would be lucky to have me as his wife. My husband’s damn lucky, whether he wants to admit it or not!

In all seriousness, I am a pretty damn good cook, and any man who can appreciate some Southern cooking would love to eat dinner at my house! I’m crafty, and I can figure out how to make just about anything. I most recently sewed my very first dress, which I will share with you next Wednesday. I am a good housewife. My house is usually about 90% clean, no one is hurting for clean clothes around here, the bills get paid on time, I don’t cheat on my husband, and his dinner is usually getting ready to be put on the table by the time he walks in the door. After all those years of being overweight, I am healthy, which also means that there’s not a whole lot of unwanted fat hanging around. I’m an athlete of sorts. After all, I’ve placed well in the last two 5ks I ran. I don’t smoke anymore, and I don’t drink. I’m a good mother. Bubba is well taken care of, and doesn’t want for anything. I’m polite and respectful of everyone around me. Whether I like to admit it or not, I don’t know a stranger. I’ll make small talk with anyone like I’ve known them for years.

And the most important thing that I’ve come to realize about myself, and this has been almost as recently as realizing how thin I am, I am pretty. For years I would look in the mirror and say, “If only I was prettier.” I would walk around and think, “Well, thank God He made me smart, but he sure could have done a little more in the looks department.” Or, “I don’t know why I can’t look like so-and-so, she’s so pretty.” Maybe after all these years, the work I’ve been doing on the inside is finally showing itself. Maybe now I’m finally seeing what my husband’s seen all along. It’s just taken me some time to actually see it. Maybe I’ve learned not to be so hard on myself. I don’t know for sure, but I think maybe I’ve finally just allowed myself to be happy. Things looks a lot better when you’re happy!

Sorry to blow smoke about myself again today. It’s just amazing to think about how much has changed in the last year alone. Age 24 has done me some serious good, and I like to think of this year is the year I finally got my head of my ass. As for all those guys who didn’t see a good thing when they had it back in the day, it’s your loss. You missed out on a great person!

Because Fall is here, damn it….

Because Fall is here, damn it….

Fall is officially here, ya’ll. I’m still out here in Washington waiting for Summer to show up. Seriously. It’s cold. I want a good 90+ degree day. Is that too much to ask for? Well, in Washington I guess so. Oh well, by this time next year I hope to be in Virginia praying for cooler weather. Anyhow, back when I first started this blog, one of my first crafts was this wreath.

IMG_1197It’s beautiful, it really is, but it’s been the same all summer long, and now those kinds of flowers just don’t bloom in this kind of weather. I decided to do a bit of a wreath update for Fall, to sort of help get into the Fall spirit.

IMG_1194The base of my wreath is just a basic grapevine wreath I bought at WalMart. I sort of planned it this way so it could easily transition from season to season.

photoI bought two bundles of leaf garland and attached it to the part of the wreath that faces the door. I wrapped them around the wreath and made sure it was evenly spaced. I added a little scarecrow that I found in the seasonal decor section of the store. The two bundles of garland and the scarecrow ran me about $7 all together. They also had a few other items that would have looked nice on this wreath, but I wanted to see how this alone would turn out. I think it looks pretty good, and I really love all of the orange and red. That’s why I kept the white ribbon, to help offset all of the red and orange. If I can find some Halloween ribbon on the cheap, I might swap out the bows when it gets closer to Halloween.


Fitness Day

This past week has gone pretty well. I’ve managed to keep a pretty good eye on what I’ve been eating. I’ve also been making sure to stretch my hip flexor more than usual. It hurts like no ones business when I stretch it, but it keeps it from hurting when I go to exercise. The anti inflammatory medication works, I suppose, along with the little bit of muscle relaxer that I’m supposed to take. I hate taking pills, and I haven’t been taking the meds as regular as I should. I have this serious thing where I don’t like to take any kinds of medication. I mean if I have a headache, which I rarely do, unless the headache is seriously bad, I won’t take a Tylenol or anything. I’ll just ride it out. I hate medication so much, I haven’t gotten a flu shot for years. I just don’t believe in them. I think it’s a bit wiser to get sick every now and again so your body can learn to deal with the illness instead of avoiding it altogether. Don’t think I’m one of those crazy people who won’t let their kids get vaccinated, because Bubba is vaccinated. Those vaccinations are life and death kind of things. But anyway, I digress.

Last week I started T25, and I’m not going to lie, I don’t like it. I don’t feel like I get anything from it. Maybe it’s because it is only 25 minutes long. Maybe because I’m not covered in sweat like I am when I get done with an Insanity workout. I think I would have to do a double round of T25 to feel the same after one Insanity workout, and by that thought process alone, I might as well just do an Insanity workout. That’s pretty much what I’ve been doing, is just randomly picking an Insanity workout to do, and for now, I think I’m okay with that. Since I’ve technically finished Insanity and I know all of the exercises, I’ve really, really tried to focus on form when I do the workouts this time around.

This last week, I also got a bit of a wake up call.

Photo: Thank you Dupont Community Yardsales! After 5 years without a full length mirror, the $1 I spent is well worth it!

I bought this mirror a few weeks ago at the community wide yard sale they do every year in DuPont. I brought it home and got it painted so it would match our decor in our bedroom. After it dried, I finally got it hung up, and that’s when the reality set it. I’m not fat. I’m not. And it took $1 full length mirror to show it to me. Yes, I can see it when someone takes a picture of me, but for me to actually see it in the mirror is amazing. For as long as I can remember, I have looked in the mirror and have seen a 200lb person. It didn’t matter which way I looked, I still saw a 200lb person. Not anymore. I see a fit and healthy person, and she’s thin. She’s also kind of pretty. I’ve looked at myself in this mirror a few times a day since it’s been hung up, mainly to see “how I really look” in the clothes that I wear. I’ve also caught myself congratulating myself for being able to look in the mirror and actually being happy with who I see looking back at me. It’s just amazing to think about how far I’ve come when it concerns my opinion of myself 🙂

Until next week….

Because the PTSD makes me want to cry…

This is going to be one of the most selfish and self centered posts I’ve ever done or ever will write, but all of it is the God’s honest truth. If you have PTSD of any kind, I’m going to go ahead an apologize now for anything that I may say that offends you. I’m sorry.

He’s always been a little on the hyper awareness side. When we first started dating, we always had to sit in the corner a restaurant, so that no one could be behind him. If we were anywhere else, we had to be where he could basically have his back against a wall, and see every single door and window in the room so he could be fully aware of who was coming or going and when. Now that he’s been deployed three times, it’s worse.

It’s bad enough he carries a concealed weapon out of of pure fear that someone is going to do something to him. He is ever ready for something, with no exact definition of what, is going to happen. There is no other option than a corner booth at a restaurant. We hardly ever go anywhere that is going to be crowded. A trip to Walmart as a family might end with a man who is beet red from stress or anger. A trip on post for the 4th of July festivities was cut very short because of no weapon to defend himself, way too many people, and not being able to be in control of the situation.

He’s angry. A lot. Not at me, or Bubba, but the world. “The world is damaged.” “The world is angry.” “Everyone in the world is evil. There is no good anywhere.” He snaps easily, and apparently has put hands on a few people at work. He has little to no patience, not like he really had a whole lot before the deployments.

He’s on medication. Two from what I understand. Both for depression. I guess they work, if you can call it that. He doesn’t get as angry as he used to around the house. Now he just comes home from work, and if he’s got time, he sleeps. A lot. He’s always tired, always sleepy. He doesn’t sleep at night, unless he’s taken his sleeping pill. One of his sleeping pills works better than the other, mainly because one causes the nightmares that keep him awake in the middle of the night.

He’s distant. Some days, I have no idea who I’m living with. I mean, I really have no idea. We’ll have been married for 5 years this December, and half of that time he’s been gone. When he’s gone, he’s either been in a war zone or training to go to a war zone. The two years we were together before we got married, we lived in different states for a little while, and then he went on his first 18 month deployment to Iraq. In retrospect, we hardly knew each other before we got married, and with all of the deployments, training, and PTSD, I still don’t know him.

It’s lonely. I did not want to move back out here when he came home from this last deployment. I would have given just about anything to be able to stay home with my family, but that was not the right thing to do. I am married. My duty is to my husband. My duty is to my son. I couldn’t be selfish and keep Bubba away from his father, but some days when he’s having a bad day, I really wonder if there is any point to us even being here. Bubba gets to see his daddy for three hours on a good day, and when he’s had a rough day, I wonder if those three hours did more harm than good.

I’m sorry. I really am. I’m sorry he deployed three times to a war zone. I’m sorry that he had to see and deal with whatever it was that he had to deal with. I’m sorry he’s got such an anxiety problem and is so depressed about everything. I’m sorry there is such a social stigma with PTSD. I’m sorry that if he were to get in-patient treatment somewhere it could hurt his career outside of the Army. I’m sorry that he has no career options in the Army. I’m sorry that I’m here and he has to tolerate his wife and tolerate his son. I’m sorry we decided to have a child and now Bubba has to grow up and learn to cope with his father. I’m sorry that I can still find enjoyment and happiness in life when he can not.

It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault he deployed three times. It’s not my fault he is the way he is. It’s not my fault I don’t understand why he has PTSD when nothing serious occurred while he was deployed. It’s not my fault that if something serious did occur while he was deployed, that he didn’t tell me. It’s not my fault that he doesn’t enjoy anything.

I can only pray. I can only pray that God will heal him, or comfort him in some sense. I can only pray that God will give me the strength that I need to keep this marriage together. I can only pray that God will give me the understanding I need to be more compassionate. I can only pray that God will give the ability to give Bubba all the love and affection he deserves when it may be missing it from one parent. I can only pray that God will give me the patience I so desperately need. I can only pray that God will see us through this dark time, and help us in the future.

Apple Coffee Cake

Apple Coffee Cake

So in case you don’t remember, I buy my apples by the box from this great little fruit stand in Graham. They have awesome produce, and they always give me a really great deal because I am a regular customer 🙂 It’s almost like being at home. I have no clue what the guys name is, and he has no clue what mine is, but we talk like we’re old friends. They will have pumpkins for Halloween and Christmas trees come winter. I’m so glad we found them, and I would much rather pay for fruit and vegetables from a fruit stand than from a big box store.

Anyhow, sometimes my apples start to go bad before they’ve been eaten, and I have to come up with a way to get rid of them before they go and rot on me. The other week when my hubby was on leave, we were needing to get rid of some apples and he was complaining about wanting something different for breakfast, so I dug into my trusty cookbook and found a recipe for some coffee cake!

Apple Coffee Cake  Better Homes and Gardens Complete Book of Baking

  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2/3 cups granulated sugar
  • 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg        I didn’t have any nutmeg, and my cake turned out just fine!
  • 1/2 cup butter or margarine
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 2 cups thinly sliced, peeled cooking apples


Grease a 9x9x2 inch baking pan. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

DSCF5147In large mixing bowl, stir together the flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, salt and nutmeg.

DSCF5149Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Set dry mixture aside.

DSCF5151In medium mixing bowl, combine milk and egg. Add egg mixture to dry mixture and stir together until moistened.

DSCF5152Spread half of the batter evenly in the prepared pan.

DSCF5153Arrange apple slices on top of the batter.

DSCF5155Dollop remaining batter, by small spoonfuls, on top of the apple slices.

DSCF5158Bake for 40 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

DSCF5159Here’s what it looks like! It is so good and simple to make. If you like apple pie, but can’t get a pie crust to turn out right, you could definitely make this to fix your apple pie craving. It tastes just like apple pie, and it is delicious with a little bit of vanilla ice cream on top!